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the bluest star

by free cake for every creature

/
1.
all the days that i fucked around i wouldnt take them back & i wouldn’t go back either floating as a seeker, i changed my shirt depending on the teacher riding into the sunset in a busted car burning another hole into the art project of my heart only to take a cab back to the start only to realize i took my picture in the dark going where the wind blows will blow you off your track and doing what the boys do won’t make them do anything but laugh when you don’t have much you don’t have much to give easy rider’s only a movie when you’ve got your own life to live into the sunset in a busted car not everyone’s got a sleeve where they can wear their heart when you don’t have much you give it all away only to take the long walk to the start only to use your pen to find the pieces in the dark only to realized you can, sometimes walk back to the start
2.
around you 03:33
underage on the pavement streetlight as spotlight silent block, sidewalk seat pulling, picking weeds tell me all of it you downplay the weight by talking quick while i braid your hair with my hands everywhere i look there is a river notebook float that i live on we gawk & laugh our lips are the same color through the blue glass the light just wants to hang around you time capsules already sorted through & in the girls room, hip to hip a circle of “i admit…i just want to hang around you” do you? made a magazine left off our names hid one in the toilet stall sprinkled a few in the hall stole the book about your favorite band by throwing it out of the school library’s window said you got a ticket from speeding to see me that whole summer we wrote letters like anaïs & henry you left some things unsaid and i liked you more for that & in the girls room, hip to hip a circle of “i admit i…. i just want to hang around you” do you?
3.
my life slipped through my lips & laughed in my absence thought i was having fun but i mistook movement for action you looked like heath ledger through my crooked glasses but our bodies were wet spaghetti, tangled & sauceless wide-eyed girl, why’d you swallow your words? wide-eyed girl, you gotta stay awake ‘cause you’re a whole world… girl tried hard to keep my chin up & off the pillow i sipped to nonexistence bare back in the snow found nothing in my buzzing phone put on my wool socks and jumped out the first-floor window wide-eyed girl, why’d you swallow your words? wide-eyed girl, try to stay awake ‘cause you’re a Whole World Girl wide-eyed girl, why’d you swallow your words? wide-eyed girl, name the stars ‘cause you’re a Whole World Girl
4.
shake it out 03:51
i know it’s everyday, it’s constant your head’s in a jam ‘cause you don’t feel right, your clothes are too tight & you can’t give it up a whole life of living and it still eats you up it’s inside me, too energy transformed but still peeking through…what can we do? we can try to shake this out of us ‘till we’re soaked new & shining every night & morning double-dip in love deserving i know there can be depths of holding but together i hope we can shake it out, shake it out you gave me your guitar you speak through too there’s still so much that i don’t know about you books in a milk crate on your wood floor knobby old spider plant at your feet a photo i could have taken just as easily i broke my branch off your tree we can try to shake this out of us ‘till we’re soaked new & shining every night & morning double-dip in love deserving it takes mercy and a hard seat but together i hope we can shake it out, shake it out
5.
took a walk 02:30
took a walk out of your car you picked me up in some parking lot took a walk up to my room you let yourself in but i didn’t let you through & i can’t go back there anymore i don’t wanna wear that face i can’t go back there anymore we talk the same but our words smash like plates i welcome an endless becoming & with each step, you loose a little grip i didn’t always run from you but toward what i had to do & i can’t go back there anymore i don’t wanna wear that face i can’t go back there anymore i’m stepping on the cracks, tripping past the tarmac
6.
bylines & deadlines i’ve been tossed right down to the foot of your mind parked cars & baseball cards i liked the faces but forgot the facts oh hey relax i didn’t tell them jack first light & i’m alright but i’m gonna sleep like hell tonight laughed fast & looked for you but before i looked, i already knew ‘cause i’ve stopped keeping everything the too-tight clothes, the assured motif i’m nobody’s mother & i don’t have to hold it all together & in the words i wring, some weight’s sure worth more than others i’ll bend the sideline skip the bus to the skyline have a seat in the sunshine but i’ll stop before the sun sticks in my eyes or turns into something that i recognize
7.
walked for hours aimlessly washed in the nothing, happily the world went on without me and i let it, happily
8.
in your car 02:03
windows down in your stopped car radio picking up the distant city’s station you pass me the glass, your lipstick in the rim “summer babe” narration, waiting waiting out the roof the moon unscrews & on your face the night is see-through we’re already late, but i kinda wish we’d stay a passing car sounds a “whoosh,” a wave that’s circulating
9.
hey tom, sprawled out under the trees mouthful of sunflower seeds index of mystery tom, come to me two smudges on the breeze sick with our untold stories tom! tom, speeding in your oldsmobile glass bottles on concrete flipping through piles of loose cds oh, now i’m lying by myself bare-legged on a perfect day with no one calling my name tom!
10.
hometown hero at fourteen covering the cure in the graveyard you’re a changing painting and the first chapter in history hometown hero to me open mic mc rode your bike to the edge of town then turned around, nothing but corn to see you circled the cul-de-sac & i stood at the mouth and you looked back rest under the milky way with me again play just like heaven ten years later and i still play your song it breathes and bobs along, along i sing and speed along, along i sing and speed along
11.
lying in the grass isn’t so pleasant when it’s dead but you press it to your stomach and you dirty your dress you reach for a grey shape at the tip of the world ‘till it’s drawn on your face and you forget to crawl but you aren’t just a moment you’re moving all the time and the sky is still enormous when there are shadows in your eyes no one’s keeping track & there’s no single path your past is out of frame & the sun is at your back
12.
now when i hear your name i quietly walk out the room i don’t believe the reasons that i give for not knowing what you’ve been up to i listen to your songs and try to sieve for answers i see you through the window now, half a person, the old glass blurs are we just getting older? we ride off to our jobs then run home to wash them off similar sensibilities, similar dreams cheat-sheet connection & disappointment in degrees i opened to you the same way that i would if i was a girl i want to try for love but also protect my world so goodbye goodbye, unsilently
13.
be home soon 03:40
eating clementines on the subway put the peels on my blue jeans should i offer my seatmate a piece? turn up the song in my headphones, this afternoon will be so naturally sweet riding home from work on a friday afternoon i smell like citrus, fresh and new six more stops i’ll be home so soon wave to shawn across the street he doesn’t see me i’ll visit him later for free coffee i feel my thread run through everything and i’ve got nothing to do, time is mine riding home from work on a friday afternoon i know you’ll be there with a pack of peanut chews three more stops i’ll be home so soon
14.
night music 02:52
myself, my angel a fierce but silent love cut an orange with a knife your fingers are still sticky here what happens when the color fades & your face is not the same? woke from the cave by a glitch i’ve never died in my dreams i’ve never died in my dreams i’ve never died in my dreams i’ve never died in my dreams i’ve never died in my dreams i’ve never died in my dreams i’ve never died in my dreams i’ve never died in my dreams i’ve never died in my dreams i’ve never died in my dreams i’ve never died in my dreams

credits

released August 3, 2018

all songs by Katie Bennett
all songs recorded by Katie Bennett, Francis Lyons & Heeyoon Won at home in West Philly
mixed & mastered by Mike Ditrio

Katie Bennett- main vocals & guitar, keys
Heeyoon Won- bass & vocals
Francis Lyons- drums, keys, guitar, vocals on "Be Home Soon"
Meghan Center- vocals on "In Your Car" & "Shake it Out"
Meg McCauley- vocals on "Around You"
Pete Gill- pedal steel on "Sideline/ Skyline," "Sunday Afternoon," "In Your Car," "Hometown Hero" & "Be Home Soon"
Felix Walworth- banjo on "In Your Car"
Evan Marré- guitar on "Riding into the Sunset in a Busted Car" & "Tom or Mike or Pat or"

thank you ❤

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free cake for every creature Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

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